Wednesday, March 14, 2007

here's a thought from watching sex and they city.

[yes i know i'm obsessed. i've finished the first two seasons in two nights.]

you know how girls always wait for their prince charming, their white knight or something. and after break ups their friends all go, 'ah don't worry. the right one'll come along.'

what if the white knight never shows up?

what if.. there is no such thing as the right one. do we just settle? my parents were like, 'oh sureeeee. you think you want to marry for love, but when you hit your midlife, boom, it's all about if he can support your lifestyle.'

so much for old couples walking hand in hand in the park. my parents are so not like that. way to burst my happy little naive bubble.

so what does poor little snow white do?
sleep with the castle guards?
stay with the seven dwarves and keep them happy and smiling? [i think grumpy gets her last, thats why he's always unhappy.]
go to the local sperm bank and fertilize herself the not-so-old-fashioned-and-less-fun way and have babies to keep her life fulfilling?

or do we save ourselves and stop waiting for some big strong testosterone-driven male to rue the day. cos aren't we all just waiting for something or someone to save us, to rescue us from the monotony of our mundane lives.

so what can newly independent snow white do now?

burn down the forests like they do in indonesia. then use the flat land to build skyscrapers and become really career-oriented?
hook up with the really hot fireman trying to save the burning forest, have mindblowing emotionless sex and use him as a boy-toy in her newly self-sufficient life?

what would you do. keep waiting and hoping on the white knight who may or may not come, or build a more substantial dependable plan to secure a future for yourself?

even if the white knight does come, can he provide a loving foolproof future? i mean, there could be really seductive busty milkmaids waiting behind the palace walls that'll give him a toss in the hay and then sue him for paternity suits months later.

and even if snow white gouges the white knights eyes out to keep them from wandering, will there always be fresh goats milk and bread on the table? what if the king decided there would be no more wars ever cos he married a hippie and changed his belief system. then the white knight would be out of job and be scrubbing privies day to night and day again. then he'd be a smelly knight and snow white would be compelled to relief her sexual urges with the palace guards or the really hot fireman.

let's say they have no problem with food and they have a nice section of the palace to live in and the king loves wars. in fact, he loves them so much, he fights other countries wars. the white knight gets sent off to iraq and gets decapitated. does snow white remarry? even if she does love the white knight so much she can't love any privy-scrubbing man any more than she loved him, would she marry for companionship?

what about kids? the white knight needs heirs to carry on the 'white' family name. what if snow white can't bear sons, would he have an yokoono/maypang affair [fyi, i'd never ask my friends to sleep with my husband. that just creeps me out]? even if snow white bears many sons and they grow up big and healthy like their father, what if they're stupid [like their dad of course. snow white's a potential threat to donald trump]? what if they can't pass their jousting-101 test?

what if white knight has a pony instead of a stallion and can't give snow white the ride that she really wants? then she goes for the duke of wellington whose stallion's much nicer to ride than the white knights. and i don't really blame snow white for going for the duke's. after all, these medieval folks don't test-drive the barn animals before the marriage.

if snow white and the white knight can pass through all those tests of medieval life, i wish them well.

and so the story goes of snow white and the white knight. they lived happily ever after, maybe.

this was my favourite post ever. i hope you enjoyed it. (:

oh boy it's late. i've been sleeping at 5 and waking up at 2 these few days. someone needs to take me out of the house. there's only so much of the day oprah can entertain me.

i saw chris daughtry's it's not over today. he's. so. fine. darn that wedding ring. HE'S MINE YOU OLDER WOMAN.

gosh. if there really were white knights.. i want mine to be a hot rich fireman. who can sing. yeah. oh wait. 'rich' and 'fireman' don't go together. i'm gonna have to rethink that.