Friday, June 22, 2007

i don't want to be a teen anymore. everything gets so emotional.

i hate change. i hate insecurities. if i wasn't so self conscious my friends probably wouldn't recognise me.

im sorry guy-ranting blog! i've let you down.

i want to be a guy. i'll use the urinal everyday. and the male toilet won't be the soul-sucking devil portal hole that it is now. and then i'll crossdress and totally freak guys out by stroking them unsuspectingly on the neck.

i love this quote about nicole richie:

"Please eat, Nicole. If I pulled a cake out of the oven and dipped you into it, I would know whether it was done baking. You shouldn't diet yourself down to wood-shaving status. Open your mouth, shovel food into it, chew, swallow, and then KEEP IT THERE."

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according to fairytale traditions.

• rich marry poor
• ugly marry pretty
• tramps marry ladies
• mermaid marry human
• royalty exchange bodily fluids with frogs
• people fall in love in a day
• bookworms like hairy men named beast

so i wonder how our lives would turn out if we lived in fairytales. im guessing we would... marry a fhot hobo with a fish tail protrusion in a day after we crashed into the magical tree of life in our pumpkin carriage because we were drooling over a hair-covered man in the bushes and the hobo came to rescue us from our orange seedy prison under the guise of carving the pumpkin for next halloween.

and then we'll live happily every after in the castle's dungeons drinking each others' blood for sustenance.